Being Strong While Traveling in Rough Waters

An Open Letter to the Darrington School District Staff
From: A DSD Colleague
Format: A Medley of Metaphors

I care deeply, and am deeply worried about Darrington and our school district – and I take great comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this concern. There are times when individuals and/or groups may relax, slow down, vacation, sleep, etc. and there are times when they face challenges that cause us to reach deep within ourselves to push beyond our current limits or risk falling by the wayside.

Clearly, this is one of those times for the latter – and we can not allow ourselves to accept falling by the wayside without at least trying to give our absolutely best effort to meet these challenges head on. There is simply too much at stake, and too many people who are dependent on us to succeed. For if we think it is bad now – it easily could become far worse – if we accept any reason(s) for not meeting these challenges successfully – or at least making a truly valiant effort.

Many of us are aware of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book "On Death and Dying" in which she tells of the "Five Stages of Grief". The stages are:
Denial: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why me? It's not fair."
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my children graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."

And many have come to realize that we can go through similar stages – perhaps to a lesser degree – when faced with having to cope with various other forms of loss, e.g. the loss of jobs, funding, colleagues, students, programs, etc.

It is understandable and probably natural that there will be people among us that will exhibit anger while others might be feeling depressed while yet others are still in a state of denial, etc. Some might question then how can an individual –or more diffiuclt yet – how can group (or at least a majority) of people arrive at the stage of acceptance where they can finally begin the process of coping and dealing with whatever is challenging them.

I think that it is at this stage to which Dickens is referring when he tells in “A Tale of Two Cities” that “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times” or what Churchill referred to during the bleakest moments of World War II during the Battle of Britain that it was their finest hour, or the Chinese duality of how the same symbol that stood for crisis also meant opportunity.

Often such talk can sound like double-speak non-sense – until we go through a crisis, where when backed into a corner, we sometimes find that such profoundness is the only way out.

If we want to see if such talk is genuine, and truly helpful, or whether it is merely one more example of psycho-babble, we can find any number of other school districts (and/or communities) that have been confronted with great challenges and successfully overcame them. Our district superintendent has taken any number of our staff to visit schools elsewhere in the state that have faced economic hardships as tough or tougher than what we face in Darrington, and yet have found ways to be tremendously successful. But we don’t have to go very far to see another example, our neighbors to the south, Granite Falls, have an incredible story to tell of how they have and are over-coming tremendous odds with such successes that now include a state championship in sports, a teacher selected as the national teacher of the year, and an attraction of many new people to their community and schools. Talking with a former Darrington teacher who now teaches in Granite Falls along with other teachers, there is tremendous sense of excitement in Granite Falls with the planning and implementing of new programs spawned by their new growth – yet it was only a few years ago where a culture fraught with drug issues, pride in losing, avoidance of going to college dominated.

And I believe that such can be the case too here in Darrington. But my concern is whether or not we have the luxury to take the time to fully go through the earlier stages listed by Kübler-Ross. My concern is that while each of us struggles in our own individual and unique ways – that the result is that its effect will hurt others in the process. Demoralization is a factor, and when one is down and acts out, it can easily have a snowball effect on others, who in their struggles to cope might finally succumb and be overwhelmed by the outbursts of their colleagues. I believe that we do not have the luxury of dwelling on our grief when our district needs our most positive, energetic efforts possible.

At one point, while feeling sorry for myself, the superintendent reminded me about the man who complained about having no shoes till he met a man who had no feet. Additionally, our secondary principal advised: “it is not the weight of the burden we carry, but how we carry the load that matters.”

My experience on a ferry off the coast of Ireland when the waves swelled up above the upper deck of the ferry, all were nervous, and most of us felt that a tightening in the pit of our stomach – but once the first person succombed and vomited, the sound of wretching and smell of vomit induced others to also succumb until almost half of the 40+ passengers had spewed. In contrast, one of our local union co-president commented about being on a whale watching ship at a time when the waves got rough out at the Strait of Juan de Fuca. He noted that as others seemed to lose their appetites, it simply left more lunch food available for him and anyone else strong enough to take advantage of the opportunity.

We need to be strong, and to look for the hidden opportunities.