Ode to a Sister

Facebook posting from July 28,2012:

Kathy, Kathy, Kathy ......

So now you have three new kittens ....

Will you never get over this temptation of yours that you repetitively succumb to with generation after generation of cats? Sure, they start out as these sweet, playful, fun-loving kittens -- some would argue, even innocent -- but then inevitably - eventually, they all become cats. Somehow, they all learn to obtain the cat attitude, the catty behavior, the catwalk, the superior attitude, etc., etc., etc.

When will you learn: -- cats cannot be saved from themselves? It is a law of nature that cats can't become anything else, but cats -- attitude and all. Sure they sometimes purr, and snuggle up to you to be petted, but sooner or later, you'll find the furniture that they sharpened their claws on, the pillow they "marked" with their scent, the hairball strategically placed for company to see, and a change in all of your other pets' temperament.

How often you have been taken in by their sweet facial expressions -- the caterwauling in the middle of the night, the incessant meowing when they aren't getting the attention they feel is owed to them, the wailing of dogs with freshly scratched noses. You simply shouldn't be fooled over and over with the outer appearance of a cat's face. Remember, inside that head is a deadly predator, willing to stalk and toy with its victims before ruthlessly finishing it off. Sure you see it on its back, playfully reaching out its paw for the piece of yarn dangle, but remember, for them, it is merely practice for when it will later use those deadly claws for its own dark purposes.

But you have had decades of interacting with cats, and rather than having finally learned, through all of the years of distortion and brainwashing, I fear that you are beyond salvation. Sadly, I have resigned myself to a fate of having an interminable "cat-lover" in the family, one who is beyond redemption.

So with sad resignation, I merely say: ahhhhh, what cute little kitties. And leave you to your fate....

Lovingly,
Your Brother

P.S. As can be attested by your daughter, who unlike you, has a Facebook account, I do have to confess that while you may be beyond salvation, I still hold out hope for others, and so will put this Ode to a Sister on Facebook with the hope of preventing others from your fate.

Comments:
Sue Jordan: Too late we have five. 3of them are mine and cindy has two.

Deborah R Hopkins: You could be writing this to me. I am a sucker for kittens.

Mrs. Angel: LOL! You should send this in as a commentary to NPR or something! You should get this published to attempt to help all the cat people of the world! Enjoyed this!