And On the Seventh Day …

This was written at a time when I was a school district athletic director:

Recently, biblical historians were thrilled at the discovery of a completely unknown text of the creation story in Genesis that included an astonishing additional text never before seen. It seems to put the creation story in a whole, new profound perspective. Below is the traditional text supplemented with the new discovery:

The traditional, known text from Genesis:

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.

And God said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” And God called the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day.

And God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, a third day.

And God said, “Let there be lights in the firmaments of the heavens to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years, and let them be lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth.” And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day.

And God said, “Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the firmament of the heavens.” So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day.

And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kind. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold , it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.

The newly discovered supplemental text:

And on the seventh day, God intended to rest. But there came to him the softball coach with great expectations of compliance and preparation from which great games were to be played. And God groaned, and sent forth his people to meet these immediate expectations. And God saw that it was OK.

And on the eighth day, God was again confronted by the softball coach with further immediate demands. And God groaned louder – threatening to shake the heavens and the earth – but yet restrained himself. And God saw and began to wonder.

And on the ninth day, God saw the softball coach approaching, groaned and roared and brought forth great winds and rains – thus canceling the day’s game. And God saw that it was good and so for forty days and forty nights the rains continued to pour till the fields and diamonds were covered fully with water. And then God finally rested ...