Be Sure & Cancel Your Credit Cards Before...

The following email was received. My response and that of others follow after it.

Subject: Be sure & cancel your credit cards before you die.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February & March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees & interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now it's somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to Citibank:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you that she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees & charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau; maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor"

Supervisor gets on the phone.

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees & charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure. It's ..."

After they get the fax ...

Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees & charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

What fun it is dealing with "customer service"

Tom

"EMF" made the following annotations.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
This transmission may contain information that is privileged, confidential and/or exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution, or use of the information contained herein (including any reliance thereon) is STRICTLY PROHIBITED. If you received this transmission in error, please immediately contact the sender and destroy the material in its entirety, whether in electronic or hard copy format. Thank you.

My wife relayed my response to a family member:


Here is Kim's take on it:
I think it is important to allow for time for technology to work out the kinks when they put in a new automated system.

Surely, something as new as people dying can't be expected to be worked into an automated system overnight.

It is my suspicion that eventually, some of the people who helped design the system might themselves die as well, in which case, they could well begin to understand and better perceive the valid concerns and needs of dead people not always keeping current with their day-to-day financial obligations.

In my particular case, I have decided that such hassles are extremely difficult to avoid upon becoming dead, and so have decided that I will either forego ever dying, or at least postpone it until technology has had adequate time to become familiar that the concept exists that eventually we won't exist -- but of course by that time, their system will most likely be dead, having been replaced by an even more extensive, all-inclusive technologically newer system.

Kim


Family member, Theresa's response to my wife, and relayed to me:


Ok..... Either he is eating schrooms, is a pocket philosopher or missed his calling as a lawyer who could argue that the sky is green and the grass is blue.

Theresa
Tax Compliance Technician Permit Unit


My response:

Response #1:

Dear Mastercard and Visa,

Upon my death, please cancel my credit card account -- as I will be preoccupied (probably fighting fire day and night -- but possibly arranging clouds or polishing gold pavement) and most likely unable to continue monthly payments.

In the event that I might owe you any money upon the time of my death, please feel free to either cancel said debt, or feel free to try to obtain payment from either of my kids, lol!! Good luck getting them to pay their old man's bill ...

If you are unable to track my death through the local newspaper's obituary column, please feel free to assume that upon no payment from me for two consecutive months constitutes my death, and proceed with the cancellation of my account, as long as it includes cancellation of my indebtedness as well.

Most sincerely,
One of your alive customers -- if at least only momentarily.

Response #2:

In regard to the following message found at the end of this chain of
emails:
"'EMF' made the following annotations.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"This transmission may contain information that is privileged, confidential and/or exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution, or use of the information contained herein (including any reliance thereon) is STRICTLY PROHIBITED. If you received this transmission in error, please immediately contact the sender and destroy the material in its entirety, whether in electronic or hard copy format. Thank you."

Dear Idaho Tax Compliance Technician,

I felt privileged to receive these emails and therefore have reason to believe that perhaps I have been an unintended recipient of the transmission below -- for surely it must be in error -- for I would never zoom from the effects of schrooms, nor is it a philosopher that one can see bulging from my pocket. Please note that in an effort to be in compliance with Idaho state law, I am making (somewhat) immediate contact with the sender(s) and am willing to destroy their computers and harddrives in its entirety upon receipt of address and location of said computers and harddrives, as well as setting fire to any near by papers (in the event that they might be formatted hard copies of said email.)

In the event that I do not receive such address and location information, I feel that I am ethically -- if not legally -- absolved of any further obligations regarding this matter of unintended email reception.

Sincerely,
A former Idaho income tax payer who has since re-located outside of your
tax-collecting boundaries.


My wife's response:

I hope her emails are scanned, and the authorities don't take your comment about destroying their computers seriously, and show up at my door to arrest you for your terrorist ways . . .

Going Out with "the Guys"

From: K Wardwell [mailto:kwardwell@glacierview.net]
Sent: Friday, July 02, 2010 11:45 AM
To: Dave
Cc: Annie Wardwell
Subject: Meridian Speedway

Dave,

Going to the Meridian Speedway with the guys sounds good.

My wife has given me permission to go out and be one of "the guys." She is even contemplating giving me permission to drink more than one beer and to belch -- hell, maybe even one vigorous enough to the point of being classified as a full-fledged burp ...

I am not sure she will let me ogle women walking by, but I am sure she will allow me to leer with subtle side glances, but no staring directly, nor am I allowed to stare at any woman's chest while trying to strike up a conversation.

She did say that I could scratch my belly in public - though she would prefer that it not be while burping at the same time -- provided I was with "the guys" and not around her.

Kim

My wife's response when cc'd a copy of this email to Dave:

Glad you have all of the rules straight. Men are so hard to train . . .

Urgent Payment Confirmation

Below is the "paste and copy" of a series of responses to another of those chronic "scam" emails -- often from Nigeria -- trying to entice some nameless email recipient into losing their bank account in the vain effort to receive millions of unearned dollars.

RE: Urgent Payment Confirmation:

-----Original message-----
From: "Jennet Michael"jenetm4@centbk.org
Date: Thu, 1 Jul 2010 19:53:06 -0700
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Subject: Re: Urgent Payment Confirmation:

Re: Urgent Payment Confirmation:

Attention Beneficiary,

Did You Permit Mr. Jerry Richard To Claim Your Approved $5.5 millon Inheritance Payment On Your Behalf?

Mr. Jerry Richard Told Mr. Jaiye Ebinisi That You Appointed Him To Represent You On The Claiming Of Your $5.5 millon Inheritance Payment, Mr. Jaiye Ebinisi Is About Releasing Your $5.5 millon Inheritance Payment To Mr. Jerry Richard As Soon As He Complies With The Mandatory $198.00 Courier Fee For The Delivery Of Your $5.5 million ATM Card To His Address At 100 Eggerding Dr., Cincinnati, OH 45215 USA As Your Representative.

Urgently Confirm To Mr Jaiye Ebinisi Whether Yes You Permitted Mr. Jerry Richard To Pay The Courier Fee Inorder To Claim Your $5.5millon ATM Card Payment On Your Behalf Or No You Shall Be Paying The Courier Fee Yourself In order To Claim Your $5.5 millon ATM Card Payment As The Legal Beneficiary.

Send Your Confirmation To Mr. Jaiye Ebinisi (Debt Settlement Officer)
His Email:( jaiyeebinisi2344@yahoo.co.jp )

You MUST Reconfirm Your Full Names, Address And Telephone To Mr. Jaiye Ebinisi For Verification.

Your Immediate Confirmation Is Highly Needed.
Jenet E. Michael.
Payment Confirmation Dept.


-----Original Message-----
From: K Wardwell [mailto:kwardwell@glacierview.net]
Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2010 11:16 PM
To: jenet4@ymail.com
Subject: Re: Urgent Payment Confirmation:

Jennet Michael,

Yes, that sounds like a good idea. I am sure that Mr. Jerry will know
how to take care of my money. And besides, it's fine with me if he pays
the $198.00 courier fee.

Once I get the money, I will more than pay him back.

In fact, if you send me your bank account number, I will wire a reward to you too -- I am so grateful of your honesty and willingness to connect me. I mean, in today's world, believe it or not, some people can't be trusted -- they would actually try to scam me out of my $5.5 million. They're not all honest like you and Mr. Jerry. Thank God for friends like you.

So yes, I give my permission for him to handle it.

Thanks for taking good care of me -- and remember, if you can get me your bank account info, I will have a nice reward for you too -- what do you say to $10,000 as a way of showing appreciation for all of your effort?


My wife's assessment of me:
You are incorrigible! :o)

The Hemiola

hemi·o·la Etymology: Late Latin hemiolia, from Greek
hēmiolia ratio of one and a half to one, from hēmi- + holos whole : a musical rhythmic alteration in which six equal notes may be heard
as two groups of three or three groups of two(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Early Baroque and Renaissance music sometimes includes a confusing measure – often the next to the last measure at the end of the song (or phrase) as a form of early syncopation.

In modern notation, it seems to be most common with music written in 6/4 time. When using 6/8 or 6/4 time, musicians often do not count all the way to six for each measure. Rather they group them into either two groups
of three or threes of two, with two groups of three probably being more common.

A hemiola is simply switching from two groups of three to three groups of two – while maintaining the same tempo if one were to count the measure in six. If when counting 6 counts, I tap my foot each time I count 1 in 1-2-3, 1-2-3, my tapping would be at a different speed than another person also counting 6 counts, but tapping his/her foot on each 1 of 1-2,1-2,1-2. Yet we would both complete the 6 counts at the same time. Note that one point of frustration is that conductors are often conducting in two threes, and sometimes are able to conduct three twos if all parts have a
hemiola. But some pieces only put a hemiola on some of the parts while the other parts continue with two threes.

Probably the one of the most effective songs for demonstrating this concept is “America” from Westside Story. If you tap with the accents in
the first measure, you would tap twice at the start of each triplet, and then in the next measure, you would tap three times for each quarter note, but at a different speed of tapping so that both measures take the same duration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy6wo2wpT2k&feature=related

You can hear the frequent use of hemiolas starting in the 3rd minute of this 7 minute You Tube video, when she starts singing “I like to be
in America” from America, Westside Story. (If the link doesn’t work, paste the site into the URL.)

An Open Email (Letter) to Amazon

Dear Sir,

I wonder if Amazon has any feelings at all about the integrity and effective use of the internet, or if Amazon's primary motivation to make money is so dominant that it obscures any other priority.

I am at Google, and do a search: "crumhorns for sale." And the number two link that comes up is Amazon. I am amazed. Could it be true that Amazon has crumhorns for sell. I click onto your site, skeptical, but willing to see if what you claim is true.

It isn't. You offer CD's with crumhorn music.

How can I be any more specific on a search engine? I put "crumhorn for sale" in quotes, and Amazon still twists it into what it has to sell -- regardless of what the user wants.

Anymore, I find that search engines are getting increasingly difficult to use because the various commercial giants have intervened to re-direct everything to their potential sales -- even if it is not even remotely close to what the individual wants.

I am more and more getting to the point where I feel it is a waste of time trying to use search engines, since I really can't seem to get past the various commercial monopolies, e.g. primarily Amazon.

I use to go to chat rooms, until the abuse become so pervasive, that it seemed futile to try to strike up a geniuine conversation.

I fear that search engines are going to be the next major tool on the internet that is subverted to the will of others.

I ask you: is this ultimately in Amazon's own best interest, if you chase away customers because they can't avoid you even when they actively seek to do so?

Do you understand that there are people out here who will hesitate to come to you when seeking a book, CD, or DVD because they feel so abused by you the rest of the time?

I suggest to you to be wary that you don't kill the goose that lays the golden egg.

If you are so aggressive to try to increase your percent of profits that you chase away your customers, you may some day discover that not only can you not increase the percentage of profits, you may find that there is actually a decrease in profits altogether.

I strongly urge you to use some self-restraint before you either kill interest by users in search engines altogether, or you entice the government to intervene, much as Congress finally intervened with large banks when credit card abuse finally went too far.

Amazon's response: (Note: I was surprised that part of it appears to have a genuine, personal response -- but then quickly reverts to form letter wording, e.g. the letter was referred elsewhere, but then wants to know if I consider that the problem has been resolved ...)

Hello,

I am sorry for any inconvenience caused.

I have forwarded your comments to the concerned department for review. We'll consider your feedback as we plan further improvements.

Thanks for taking time to offer us your thoughts.

We hope to see you again soon.

Did I solve your problem?

If yes, please click here:
http://www.amazon.com/rsvp-y?c=yvyqecgx3285663517

If no, please click here:
http://www.amazon.com/rsvp-n?c=yvyqecgx3285663517

Please note: this e-mail was sent from an address that cannot accept incoming e-mail.

To contact us about an unrelated issue, please visit the Help section of our web site.

Best regards,

Sirisha Y.
Amazon.com
Your feedback is helping us build Earth's Most Customer-Centric Company.
http://www.amazon.com/your-account

---- Original message: ----

Light of the World

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8: 12 Revised Standard Edition)

Jesus spoke in parables and utilized metaphors often. Since much of their culture as well as their environment contrast significantly to ours, we don't always catch the full significance of his picturesque literary language.

"Light" is one of those metaphors that is used in the Bible numerous times. Yet I have wondered sometimes if it might not also be literal.

I find it fascinating to listen to earlier cultures with their limited knowledge about the secrets of science try to explain phenomena that they observed but didn't fully understand anywhere to the degree that we do now, e.g. the writer(s) of Exodus trying to explain how a burning bush could be glowing as if on fire without being consumed. While I don't know how satisfactorily to explain such a burning bush, the possibilities I might consider can include radioactivity, fusion, chemical reaction, solar flares, aurora borealis, or UV lighting, -- choices that were beyond their awareness. While not clear to many of us today, at least we are aware that the concept exists and open to possible results or by-products.

And by the same token, if one believes that there is a God who created the world and universe, the more we become aware of scientific concepts, the more I personally have to believe that God would also be the author of these concepts. Further, if He is the author, then it seems reasonable to me that He would utilize these concepts.

Obviously, as we learn more in the realm of science, the more we realize how much more is out there that we do not yet understand.

But what if there were a literal component as well -- one that can only be explained by scientific concepts -- authored by God, the Creator -- that we do not yet understand?

There are other unexplained Biblical stories centered on light: Moses coming down from the mountain needing to be veiled to cover a face shining so bright that others could not look at him, Jesus coming down off the mountain after the transfiguration, or flames above the disciples head on the day of Pentecost.

There is one more mystery of the Bible that is not likened to light, but perhaps could be: the trinity. Many of us are not able to envision how God, the Father, and Jesus, the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit can be both one and at the same time, three separate entities.

I have heard metaphors such as water -- that water can be a gaseous vapor, a liquid, and frozen ice. All are water, and yet each can be unique. But that metaphor did not seem satisfactory to me -- it did not give me an example of how all three could be blended together simultaneously.

For me, light would seem like a better metaphor.

Imagine a room that is totally dark, but equipped with three lights -- each spaced at distinctly separate places in the room. Each light can be turned on separately, or in pairs, or all three.

Lighting can be combined -- different in some cases, a red light and a blue light can combined as a distinct blend that is different from either source, or it can be white lights that are impossible for most humans to distinguish separately.

To the average layman, we don't understand how light can combine instantly -- essentially the same, and yet brighter, stronger as another light(s) is(are) added, and at the same time, can just as quickly be separated -- unlike chemical reactions, or physical mixtures that often can not be easily or immediately undone. Essentially for us non-scientists, it is something we do not fully understand, yet easily accept.

Perhaps this metaphor can help us religious laymen to also better accept the notion of a trinity that is both one and separate at the same time.

Doing Time ...

Do the hands of the clock ever actually move? I watch and watch and watch ... sitting there and watch. Still, I don't see them move. Still, that is all those hands are: still. Has time frozen?

I don't even know why I am here. I didn't do anything wrong ... no matter what anyone says.

Actually, I don't have that much time left -- but it seems like I have been here already forever. I just don't see how I can bear this final leg ...

It's 2:58, there are only 17 more minutes till the middle school kids go home. This is the last Friday for this school year. All the others are outside running around and signing yearbooks. The others here in five of the classrooms are stuck with detention.

15 minutes now ... will time ever pass?