In a series of comments on Facebook, my dear sweet, though obviously non-worldly friend, Suzi asked: "and, what is Red Green?"
Obviously, her question -- open for all of the world to see, needed to be answered.
My response:
OMG!!!!!!! What???? "What is Red Green"?????
First of all: WHO is Red Green?
Why, he is the owner of Possum Lodge, and is a staple of most fine PBS stations with their weekly import from Canada.... ......
Basically, Red can fix anything with duct tape, e.g. changing flat tires -- even if the lug nuts are rusted. All you do is just duct tape the spare tire to the flat one and then it is guaranteed to hold for at least 100 yards, actually 100 meters -- you know, Canadian metric system, eh? .... , or you can make your own DeLorean car door that opens by raising up instead of swinging sideways with a little help using a garage-door opener and more duct tape.
Essentially, Tim Allen's Tool Time is the woman's perspective of what men with tools are, whereas Red Green and his junkyard and duct tape is a man's version of what men with tools are....
The true sign of understanding this difference can be detected by watching the difference in re-action when a husband and wife watch their first episode of Red Green together (which can be checked out from your local public library if needed!!!) As Red is explaining how to duct tape whatever his latest project is -- the man can be seen nodding his head up and down saying un-huh, while at the same time, the wife is shaking her head sideways muttering, "I don't get it!!"
And it's true, women don't. When a woman gives her husband a chore to do from the honey do list, she expects things like that when he is done, it will: 1) work, 2) look good, 3) not need to be re-visited over and over, 4) not require the purchase of several hundred dollars of new tools, and 5) not take 6 months to complete a 2-hour project, especially when it requires leaving all of the tools out "until I can get the project finished -- as soon as I possibly can ... this next weekend, I promise ..."
But lest you fear that Red Green only deals with home fix-it projects, the show also does manly poetry and singing, re-citing the "man prayer", doing the word game where you try to get men to say words like: quiche, etc., and answer man-questions like how to answer your wife if she asks the husband if her new pants make her look fat, as well as other timely issues like how to try to get rid of your nerdy nephew who is totally unable to cope with the concept of dating or even mentioning women in any shape, way or form ....
And all of that packed into a mere half-hour session, though of course, since it is PBS, it is a full, 100% half hour -- not diluted with 8 minutes of commercials -- though of course, if you did feel the need to buy something, you could always go to their website and purchase Possum Lodge souvenirs and of course, duct tape....
Need I say anything more??
P.S. Would you care to see my picture of Red and me together when he visited the PBS station in Seattle 7 years ago??
It is one of my most cherished possessions -- if I can find where I put it when I packed to move back to Idaho. But I know it's here somewhere -- right along with my extra duct tape.
Posted by Kim at 10:33 PM
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